How I Became a Query Ho...

I'm Karla and this is my first blog ever. Very exciting moment this is.

What can I say? I'm late to the party as is typical for my life. My bad timing is what has turned me into the Query Ho, and I'll tell you why.

In 2006, I decided to get my real estate license (I'm still licensed if you live in the MD, DC, or VA areas). Anyway, I got my license right as the housing market took a nose dive. People were making money hand-over-fist, houses stayed on the minutes for about five minutes, people were clamoring to buy. It was a beautiful thing. I jumped into the market and, like the walls of Jericho, the market came a'tumbling down.

So, I took that as a sign that I was supposed to be doing something else. Still did real estate part time, but it wasn't my "thing."

I'd always had a love for writing, so in my insane brilliance, I decided that I would start a publishing company and I'd publish my own newspaper for new homeowners. I was a real estate agent after all. It would be a great mix. And I did pay a hefty sum for that silly little MBA that collects dust on my bookshelf. I had a company that sent me the articles (which defeated the whole purpose of writing) and all I had to do was sell a few ads. Of course, I started the company right when the economy tanked, and business owners clinched onto the advertising dollars with a Kung Fu death grip unseen in the human realm.

So after three months, three issues, and thousands of dollars in start-up costs, I took that as a sign that God had another purpose for my life and the newpaper went kaput.

So, what was next for me?

In 2008, the year before my 40th birthday and the time when most women do major life reassessments, I did some soul-searching. What do I wanna be when I grow up? I got my Aha moment during one of Oprah's Live Your Best Life shows. I don't even remember what I heard that triggered the moment, I just remember feeling that I'd spent a lifetime looking for something inside that I had yet to find. Then I realized that through my challenges, heartaches, and failures, I had my journals. Writing in them made me happy, made me feel free. Writing lifted my spirits and my soul. And in that Aha moment I realized I'd spent my whole life fighting the urge to do the one thing that made me truly happy - writing.

So, I decided to write a novel, not just any novel, mind you - the next great American novel. My motivation was the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest. I started my novel in September 2008 and finished it at the end of December, early January. Spent two or three weeks editing and entered it.

This is it! I just know it, I'd said to myself a gazillion times. God had given me my Aha moment just in time for me to win the big contest, get a publishing contract, and live the rest of my life in literary bliss.

Didn't take long to figure out that wasn't an Aha moment...that was more like a "HA! Don't make me laugh" moment.

I made it to the top 2000 based on my query but my novel sucked. Oh friends and family loved it, thought it was hysterical. But my two Amazon Vine Voice reviewers essentially said, "Give up, you suck, don't ever write again." But they were a little nastier about it. On top of that, I sent out my raw literary sewage to agents who rejected it by the dozens. Many told me, "This has promise." Most said, "Promise not to ever send this to me again... or anything...ever!" On top of that, the publishing market tanked. I'd begun to think my life decisions caused shifts in the economy.

So, did I take that as a sign that I needed to keep searching for my calling?

Nope... I took it as a sign that I needed to work harder, that my reviewers were correct and my writing did suck.

So, I worked harder. I read every book about writing I could get my little mits on, the most inspiring of which was Stephen King On Writing. I worked and revised until it hurt. I spent Saturdays at home during 70 degree weather editing in such a way that every single change I made felt like a root canal. But I was happy doing it, I couldn't pull myself away. I couldn't stop until I was done. And when I finished, I had never felt such a sense of accomplishment in my life.
Nearly eight months and 80,000 words later, I gave birth to the The Bum Magnet.

So, I'm back to querying again. Going from agent to agent trying to find a pimp for my novel. I've decided to make my journey public for the world to see. Maybe someone will be inspired by it. Maybe it will just make you laugh like hell. Maybe you'll cry in sympathy. Whatever happens, I hope you enjoy the journey.

Tomorrow, ten queries go in the mail. We'll see what happens next...