What's in a Query?

Well, I sent off my queries this afternoon, now my clock starts ‘a ticking.

I sent one package to an editor at a major press. I won an expedited review in the Brenda Novak Diabetes auction. Apparently, she only holds this auction annually, but she auctions manuscript, non-fiction proposal, and query reviews for literary agents and editors throughout the industry and in all genres. So, I would suggest book marking http://www.brendanovak.com/ and keeping an eye out for next year’s auction.

I sent three queries to literary agents whom I’d met during a writer’s conference. And the remaining query to a literary agent I’d researched on Google and who sold a book to Kensington recently in my genre. Given my interaction with the agents, I’m expecting more than a “no thanks” response. I’m sure (really really hope) they will give me some decent feedback. The editor will provide some as well (because I’m paying for it). So, if you hang in there, the responses may give you some insights into the industry, what’s working, what’s not, and why.

So anyway, not the ten I had initially planned. It took me several hours to put those packages together and customize each letter so it didn’t look like I rubber-stamped each one. We’ll see how it goes.

I thought it was only fair that I show you what I’m working with as well. So below, I’ve posted two versions of my query, I’ll call them query one and query two. Why do I have two you ask? I read QueryShark and other blogs that try to help you improve your query and I try to incorporate suggestions. Query 1 represents my initial query in which I got 2 requests for fulls and 1 partial (1 full is with an agent as we speak). I’ve not had any response on Query 2, the most recent, but I’ve only sent it out to two agents and only about a week ago. I’ll give it time. Any input you may have on which one you like best will be appreciated. Until the next time.

Query 1:

Quick-witted real estate agent Charisse Tyson has it all: the stately, three-story colonial, the 7-Series BMW, and her dream job. But the hopeless trail of romantic road kill obstructing her expressway to love is her lingering unsolved mystery. She’s beautiful, intelligent, and down-to-earth but attracts more devious, philandering men than Capitol Hill. A timely article she reads during a New Year’s meltdown (as her 40th birthday looms) motivates her to swear off men and unearth the comical—and often complex—roots of her romantic fiascos.
Just five simple steps to transform her love life to the stuff of legends, right? Life is never that easy.
Charisse embarks on her do-it-yourself therapy mission and barely cracks open the lid on her emotional toolbox when she encounters the monkey wrenches: an inconveniently irresistible new beau, two persistent ex-flames, and an FBI agent with life-altering secrets that threaten to turn her world topsy-turvy. A family crisis and long-avoided journey home lead her to confront a painful family secret she’s been concealing for twenty-seven years. But will she ever meet Mr. Right?

Although filled with humorous observations about men and relationships, The Bum Magnet really speaks to untended scars from childhood traumas and how they repeatedly manifest themselves in the partners we choose as adults, as well as how revealing dark secrets can light our paths to healing and happiness. This work of contemporary African-American women's fiction would appeal to any woman who ignores that little voice screaming “Don’t date him, stupid!” and desires to understand why.

I’m a first-time novelist and an avid, lifelong fan of women’s fiction, particularly romantic comedies. I have an MBA and am a member of the Maryland Writer's Association. I’m working toward a full-time career in writing, and I’m eager to continually improve my craft and learn the ins-and-outs of this complex business. The novel is 79,000 words and fully complete.

Query 2

Quick-witted real estate agent Charisse Tyson has everything right…except the Mister. She’s got the McMansion, a Beemer, and her dream job, but she’s also got a hopeless trail of romantic road kill blocking the driveway to her House of Love—all “playas.” After catching her most recent “the one” with another woman, Charisse reads a self-help article that motivates her to give up men and explore the complex roots of her past romantic fiascos.

Just five simple steps to transform her love life to the stuff of legends, right? Life is never that easy.

Charisse commences her do-it-yourself therapy project and barely cracks open her emotional toolbox when she encounters the monkey wrenches: an irresistible new beau, two persistent ex-flames, and an FBI agent with life-altering secrets threatening to turn her world topsy-turvy. A tug of war ensues with Charisse dead center, creating chaos as she attempts to distinguish the Don Juans from the Romeos and propelling her love life into unpredictable twists not even she could imagine. But will a twenty-seven-year-old secret keep Charisse from finding the right “one”?

The Bum Magnet fires direct shots on women’s blundered choices as much as men’s “playa” ways. The African-American characters are flawed but funny and mainstream, thus appealing to a broad spectrum. Moreover, any woman who time and again ignores the inner voice screaming, “Don’t date him, stupid!” or “Leave him, fool!” and asks herself “Why?” will relate to Charisse’s dilemma.

I’m a first-time novelist and a lifelong fan of women’s fiction. I have an MBA, am a member of the Maryland Writer's Association, and have workshopped the novel through online critique groups.